3 Contents Chapter1AnOverviewofBusinessWriting
1 商务写作概述 Chapter2StructureandStylesofBusinessLetters 22 商务信函的结构与格式 Chapter3Sales-relatedInquiriesandReplies 40 询盘与回复函 Chapter4OrderLettersandConrmationLetters 54 订单与确认函 Chapter5LettersofShipment 68 装运函 Chapter6LettersofPaymentandSettlementofounts 81 付款与结账函 Chapter7RoutineClaimsandAdjustments 95 日常索赔与理赔函 Chapter8PersuasiveClaimsandRefusals 109 说服性索赔与拒绝函 Chapter9SalesLetters 123 销售函 Chapter10Invitationsandank-youLetters 137 邀请函与感谢信 Chapter11LettersofApologyandCongratulation 151 道歉信与祝贺信 Chapter12NoticesandAnnouncements 162 通知与通告 Chapter13MemosandMinutes 176 备忘录与会议记录 III 2013-9-1817:17:39 商务英语写作 Chapter14Résumé 189 简历 Chapter15LettersofApplication 204 申请函 Chapter16Lettersofmendation 219 推荐信 Chapter17Proposals 234 意向书 Chapter18Reports 253 报告 Chapter19Questionnaires 268 调查问卷 Chapter20BusinessAgreements 281 商务协议 ReferenceAnswers参考答案 294 IV 文前.indd4 2013-9-1817:17:40 1AnOverviewofBusiness ChapterWriting 商务写作概述 Theabilitytowriteeffectivelyisavaluablebusinessasset.Onereasonisthatagreatdealofbusinessistransactedinwriting.WiththewideuseoffaxandEDP1,writingisinvolvedineverypartofbusiness.Moreandmorepeoplefeeltheneedtoputideasandinformationintowrittenform.Anotherreasonisthateffectivebusinesswriterscanusetheirwritingskillstohelpincreasepanies’salesandprofitsbypromotinggoodrelationswithcustomers,employeesandthegeneralpublic.Moreover,proficiencyinwritinggivestheman/womaninbusinessaprofessionaladvantageoverlesscapablewritersandcontributessubstantiallytohis/herself-confidence—anecessaryqualityforbusinessess. FunctionsofBusinessWriting Everybusinessmessageisdesignedtoachieveaspecificbusinessobjective.Itsessdependsonwhatitsaysandtowhatextentitinducesafavorableresponsefromthereader.Thus,businesswritinghastwofunctions:toinformandtopersuade. Messagestoinformareusedtoconveythevastamountofinformationneededpletetheday-to-dayoperationsofthebusiness—explaininstructionstoemployees,announcemeetingsandprocedures,acknowledgeorders,eptcontractsforservices,etc.Themajorpurposeofmostofthesemessagesistohavethereceiverunderstandabodyofinformationandconcentrateonthelogicalpresentationofthecontents. Inadditiontoprovidinginformation,somebusinessmessagesalso 1EDP:ElectronicDataProcessing电子数据处理
1 1-2单元.indd1 2013-9-1817:14:47 商务英语写作 influencethereader’sattitudesandactions.Thesemessagesmightincludeletterspromotingproductsorservicesandseekingsupportforideasandworthycausespresentedtosupervisors,stockholders,customers,clientsandothers. Tosecurethedesiredresponse,itisnecessarytohaveanadequateknowledgeoftheEnglishlanguageandanunderstandingofhumannature.Thewritershouldhaveanacquaintancewiththeparticularinterestand,ifpossible,theemotionsofthereader.Itseemseasyenough,forexample,toaskforpaymentofabill,butitisquitedifficulttosecurepaymentwithoutoffendingthereaderandlosinghis/herfuturepatronage(光顾).municationiswhollyessfulunlessitretainsthereader’sgoodwill. SixC’s—CriteriaandTechniquesforEffectiveBusinessWriting Abusinessmessageisconsideredessfulwhen:1)thereceiverinterpretsthemessageasthesenderintendedit,and2)itachievesthesender’spurposes.Inordertomeettheseobjectives,AmericanexpertsinmunicationdevelopedsixC’sprinciples:Courtesy,Correctness,Conciseness,Clarity,ConcretenessandCompleteness.ThesixC’sarebothcriteriaandtechniquesforeffectivebusinesswriting. Courtesy Reviewofactualbusinesscorrespondencerevealsthatspecialattentionshouldbedevotedtoassuringthecourtesyofmunication.Bycourtesywemeantreatingpeoplewithrespectandfriendlyhumanconcern.Effectivewritersvisualizethereaderbeforestartingtowrite.Theyconsiderthereader’sdesires,problems,circumstances,emotionsandprobablereactionstotheirrequest.Developingcourtesyinaletterusuallyinvolvesthreeaspects:usingyou-viewpoint,takingapositivetoneandbeingconversational.  Usingyou-viewpointWritingfromtheyou-viewpoint(alsocalledyou-attitude)isatechniquefor
2 1-2单元.indd2 2013-9-1817:14:48 buildinggoodwillinletters.You-viewpointistofocusinterestonthereader.Itisatechniqueforpersuasionandforinfluencingpeoplefavorably. Inabroadsense,you-viewpointwritingemphasizesthereader’sinterestandconcerns.Itemphasizes“you”and“your”andde-emphasizes“we”and“our”.Butitismorethanamatterofjustusingsecond-personpronouns.Itisanattitudethatplacesthereaderinthecenterofthings.Sometimes,itjustinvolvesbeingfriendlyandtreatingpeopleinthewaytheyliketobetreated.Sometimesitinvolvesskillfullyhandlingpeoplewithcarefullychosenwordstomakeadesiredimpression. Examples We-viewpoint You-viewpoint
1.WearehappytohaveyourorderforKopperproducts,whichwearesendingtodaybyMercuryFreight.
2.WeselltheForevercutlerysetforthelowpriceof$6eachandsuggestaretailpriceof$8.5.
3.Wehaveshippedthethreedozendesksetsyouordered.
1.YourselectionofKopperproductsshouldreachyoubySaturday,astheywereshippedbyMercuryFreighttoday.
2.Youcanreapa$2.5profitoneachForeversetyousellat$8.5,foryourcostisonly$
6. 3.Yourthreedozendesksetsshouldreachyouwiththisletter. Whenyouuseyou-viewpointinwriting,avoidinsincerity.Theyouviewpointcanbeusedtothepointofbeinginsincere,anditcanbeobviouslyflattery.Remembertheobjectiveoftheyou-viewpointistotreatpeoplecourteously—thewaytheyliketobetreated.Youcannotaffordtosacrificesinceritybyoverdoingit.Usetheyou-viewpointforgoodgoals.Ifyouuseitforbadgoals,itwillhavetheeffectofmanipulation2.Usetheyou-viewpointonlywhenitisfriendlyandsincereandwhenyourgoalsaregood.Insuchcases,usingtheyou-viewpointis“tellingitasitis”oratleastasitshouldbe.  TakingapositivetonePeopleenjoyandreactfavorablytopositivemessages.Apositivetonebuilds thereader’sconfidenceinthewriter’sabilitytosolveproblemsandstrengthens 2theeffectofmanipulation:被操纵的感觉 Chapter13 1-2单元.indd3 2013-9-1817:14:48 商务英语写作
4 personalandbusinessrelationships.Positivewordsarehelpfulespeciallywhenpersuasionandgoodwillareneeded.Positivewordsemphasizethepleasantaspectsofthegoalandtendtoputthereaderintherightframeofmind3.Theyalsocreatethegoodwillatmospherereadersseekinmostletters.Negativewordstendtoproducetheoppositeeffect.Theymaystirupyourreader’sresistancetoyourgoals,andtheyarelikelytobehighlydestructiveofgoodwill. Examples Negative Positive
1.Youfailedtogiveusthefabricspecificationsofthesofayouordered.
2.Icannoteptthemendationofthemittee.
3.Weregrettoinformyouthatwemustdenyyourrequestforcredit.
1.Inorderthatyoumayhavethesofayouwant,willyoupleasecheckyourchoiceoffabricontheenclosedcard?

2.IwishIcouldeptthemendationofthemittee.
3.Forthetimebeing,wecanserveyouonlyonacashbasis.  BeingconversationalAletter—agoodletter—shouldbepleasingtothereader.Inagoodlettera conversationisheld.Thereadershouldbemadetoetthathe/sheisreadingaletter.Instead,thewriterhastraveledonapieceofpapertotalktothereader.Peoplewhowritewithasenseofpersonalcontacthaveabetterchancetomakewhattheysayinterestingandconvincingthanthosewhofeeltheyarewritingletters.Whateveryoutalkaboutintheletter,thelanguageyouuseshouldbethesameasifyoumetthepersononthestreet,athomeorintheoffice.Suchlanguageiswarmandnatural.Itleavesafavorableimpressiononpeople.Itisalsothelanguageweusemostandunderstandbest. Theexecutivesofpanydonotwantlettercontactstobecoldandtooformal.Theyknowthatthemostloyalcustomeristheonewhofeelslike“oneofthefamily”.Butwhenfacedwithawritingtask,manyofustendtohideourhospitality.Insteadofwritinginfriendly,conversationallanguage,wewriteinstiffandstilted（生硬的）words.Thereisamisconceptionthatbiganddifficultwordsarepreferredinbusinessletters,buttheresultofsuchwordsisacoldand 3putthereaderintherightframeofmind:使读者有好的心情 1-2单元.indd4 2013-9-1817:14:48 unnaturalstyle—onethatdoesnotproducethegoodwillyouwantyourletterstohave. Thefollowingexamplesillustratetheproblemsofbeingtooformalandwaystocorrectthem. Examples Stiffanddullstyle Conversationalstyle
1.ReferenceismadetoyourMay3letter,inwhichyoudescribedtheapprovedprocedureforinitiatingaclaim.
2.InreplytoyourJune18letter,pleasebeinformedthatyouradherencetoinstructionsoutlinedthereinwillgreatlyfacilitateattainmentofourobjective.
3.Ishallbemostpleasedtoavailmyselfofyourkindsuggestionwhenandifthepricedeclines.
1.PleaserefertoyourMay3letter,inwhichyoutellhowtofileaclaim.
2.ByfollowingtheprocedureyoulistedinyourJune18letter,youwillhelpusreachourgoal.
3.Ishallgladlyfollowyoursuggestionifandwhenthepricefalls. Correctness Correctgrammar,punctuationandspellingarebasicrequirementsforbusinesswriting.Errorsinbusinesslettersandreportshaveanegativeimpactonthereputationofpanyandthewriter.Errorsdistractthereaderfromthemessageitselfandtherebyreducetheeffectivenessofthedocument.Businesswritersshouldfollowgrammaticalrules,whichmeansusingcorrectsentencestructures,avoidingsentencefragments4,run-onsentences5masplices6.Besides,youshouldalsowatchmontypesoferrors:misplacedelementsanddanglingmodifiers(垂悬结构)inbusinessletters,becausetheycancauseconfusiontothereader.Toavoidmisplacedelements,youshouldplacewords,phrasesorclausesnearthewordstheymodify.Placingwords,phrasesorclausesinthewrongpositioncanconfusethereader. 4sentencefragment:不完整句5run-onsentence:连写句masplice:逗号错误，指用逗号连接两个独立句子 Chapter15 1-2单元.indd5 2013-9-1817:14:48 商务英语写作
6 Conciseness Effectivewritingisconcise—eachword,sentenceandparagraphcounts.Concisenessmeanstowriteinthefewestpossiblewordswithoutpletenessandcourtesy.Becauseawordymessagerequiresmoretimetowriteandread,businesspeopleputahighpremiumon7concisenessinbusinessmessages.Concisenesswillgiveemphasistothemessage.Weshouldeconomizeonwordsandseekbriefwaysofsayingthings.Onewayofdoingthisistoavoidclutteringphrasesandeliminatesurpluswords.Insteadofsaying“IntheeventthatpaymentisnoteffectedbyMarch,theoperationwillcease”,wecanuse“If”tosubstitutefor“Intheeventthat”. Examples Clutteringwordsatthepresenttimeforthepurposeofforthereasonthatinordancewithinthenearfutureinviewofthefactthatonthebasisontheasionofwithaviewtowithregardto,withreferencetopriorto Concisesubstitutionsnowforsince,becausebysoonsince,becausebyontoaboutbefore Aswithclutteringphrases,weoftenusemeaninglessextrawordseitheroutofhabitorbecauseofignorance.Eliminatingthesesurpluswordsmayrequirerecastingasentence,butsometimestheycansimplybeleftout. Examples Withsurpluswords
1.Therearefiverulesthatshouldbeobserved.2.IntheperiodbetweenJuneandAugust theyfoundtheerror. Withoutsurpluswords1.Fiverulesshouldbeobserved.
2.BetweenJuneandAugusttheyfoundtheerror. 7putahighpremiumon:高度重视 1-2单元.indd6 2013-9-1817:14:48 Besides,avoidingunnecessaryrepetitionofwordsorideasisanotherwaytoachieveconciseness.Repeatingwordsobviouslyaddstosentencelength.Ofcourse,suchrepetitionsometimesservesapurposeaswhenitisusedforemphasisorsomespecialeffects.Butitisnotsurprisingtofindthatbusinesscorrespondenceisfullofpaddedphrases.Inthefollowingexamplesyouwillfindnothinghasbeenlostinmeaningoreffectivenesswithouttheitalicizedwords. Examples
1.Itcameatatimewhenwewerebusy.2.Leatherdepreciatesinvalueslowly.3.Itwillcostasumof$120.4.acertainpersonbythenameofBillJones5.inthecityofColumbus6.Theradiosellsforthepriceof$50. Repetitionofideasthroughtheuseofdifferentwordsthatmeanthesameisknownasredundancy.Herearemoreexamplesofredundancyandwaystoeliminatethem. Examples Withrepetition1.Ournewmodelislongerinlengththan theoldone.2.Theconsensusofopinionisthatthetax isunfair. Withoutrepetition1.Ournewmodelislongerthantheold one.2.Theconsensusisthatthetaxisunfair. Clarity Claritytellsthereaderexactlywhattheauthorwantsandneedstoknow,usingwordsandaformatthatmakethewritingtotallyunderstood.Familiarwordsandsimplesentencesratherthandifficultwordsplexsentencesarepreferredforthispurpose. Thefollowingexampleswillillustratetheeffectofusingfamiliarwordsmunications. Chapter17 1-2单元.indd7 2013-9-1817:14:48 商务英语写作
8 Examples Longandunfamiliarwords1.Companyoperationsforthepreceding ountingperiodterminatedwithasubstantialdeficit.2.Thismachinehasatendencytodevelopexcessiveandunpleasantaudiblesymptomswhenoperatingatelevatedtemperature. Shortandfamiliarwords1.panylostmuchmoneylast year.
2.Thismachinetendstogetnoisywhenitrunshot. Thedegreeofformalityinwritingisdictatedbythenatureofthemessageandthebackgroundofthereader.Thewritingindissertations,theses,legaldocumentsandhigh-levelgovernmentdocumentsisexpectedtobeformal.Businessmemorandum(memos),e-mailmessagesandreportsareexpectedtobeinformal. Businesswritersusuallyprefertheinformalwordsintherightcolumnratherthantheformalwordsintheleftcolumn. Examples Formalandunfamiliarwords terminateprocureremuneratecorroborateutilizeelucidateconsummateperuse Informalandfamiliarwords endgetpaysupportuseexplaincloseread Short,average-lengthsentencesareeasytoreadandpreferredmunicatingclearly.Buttoomanyshortsentencesmaymakethewritingchoppy(支离破碎的);therefore,sentencesshouldvaryinlengthandinstructure.Varietyisjustasdesirableinparagraphlengthasitisinsentencelength.Aparagraphcanbefromonelineinlengthtoadozenlinesormore.However,justasaveragesentencelengthshouldbekeptshort(theaveragelengthofsentenceis12to16words),averageparagraphlengthalsoshouldbekeptshort. 1-2单元.indd8 2013-9-1817:14:48 Paragraphsinbusinesslettersormemosaretypicallyshorterthanparagraphsinbusinessreports.Inbusinessreports,thespacebetweenparagraphsisaerestingspot.Longparagraphsaredifficulttoread.Paragraphlengthvariesdependingonplexityofthesubjectmatter.However,asageneralrule,paragraphsofnolongerthaneighttotenlinesarepreferred. Thefollowingmemoscontainidenticalinformation.Withoutquestion,theonewithshort,easy-to-readparagraphsismoreinvitingtoreadthantheotherwithonebulkyparagraph. Examples Abulkyparagraph TO:FROM:DATE:SUBJECT: AllemployeesWilliamsBurrisOctober30,2012EXTRAVACATIONDAY Shortparagraphs TO:FROM:DATE:SUBJECT: AllemployeesWilliamsBurrisOctober30,2012EXTRAVACATIONDAY Theboardofdirectorshasapprovedoneadditionalvacationdayforeveryemployee.ThisdecisionisourwayofexpressinggratitudeforthemostproductiveandprofitableyearinthehistoryofCometInternational.Withtheapprovalofyourdepartmenthead,youmayselectanydaybetweenNovember1toDecember31.Thisdayofvacationisinadditiontoyear-endbonusesyouwillreceivesoon.Thankyouforallyouhavedonetomaketheyearessful,andbestwishesforahealthyandhappyvacationday. Theboardofdirectorshasapprovedoneadditionalvacationdayforeveryemployee. ThisdecisionisourwayofexpressinggratitudeforthemostproductiveandprofitableyearinthehistoryofCometInternational.Withtheapprovalofyourdepartmenthead,youmayselectanydaybetweenNovember1toDecember31.Thisdayofvacationisinadditiontoyearendbonusesyouwillreceivesoon. Thankyouforallyouhavedonetomaketheyearessful,andbestwishesforahealthyandhappyvacationday. Concreteness Businesswritingshouldbevivid,specificandconcreteratherthanvague,generalandabstract,especiallywhenthewriterisrequiringaresponse,tryingtosolveaproblem,makinganofferoreptance,etc. Chapter19 1-2单元.indd9 2013-9-1817:14:48 商务英语写作 Examples Abstract asignificantlossinthenearfuturethemajorityanexcellentstudent Concrete a53%lossbyThursdaynoon70%amongfiveinaclassof40 Completeness Allthenecessaryinformationanddatashouldbeincludedinthemessagebecausetheycanhelpthesendergetthereceiver’sresponseandachievedesiredobjective.Anpletemessagemayresultinlossofgoodwill,salesandvaluedcustomers,andrequiresmoretimeintryingtomakesenseoutofit.Forexample,anoffershouldatleastprovideinformationofthenameofthegoodstobeoffered,theprices,termsofpayment8,timeofdelivery,shippinginstructions,etc.Lackofanyofthebasicinformationmaycauseproblemstothereceiveroftheoffer. MoreCriteriaandTechniquesforEffectiveBusinessWriting Languageschangewiththetimesandalwaysbearthemarksofaparticulartime.Therapiddevelopmentoftechnologyhasbroughtchangestobusinesswriting.Faxande-mailsendmessagesquickly,andnarrowthedistancebetweenpeopleindifferentlocations.Businesswriting,ingeneral,hasmoreandmoreassumedafriendly,easyandconversationalstyle.Theawarenessofthistrend—theappreciationofup-to-datewaysofdoingbusiness—isimportanttoanyonewhoaspirestoeaessfulwriter.Othertechniquesofeffectivebusinesswritingincludesinglingout9yourreader,usingthereader’sname,buildinggoodwillandavoidinganger. 8termsofpayment:付款条件，支付条款，支付方式9singleout:挑出，选出 10 1-2单元.indd10 2013-9-1817:14:48 Singlingoutyourreader Lettersthatappeartobewrittenforonereadertendtomakethereaderfeelimportantandappreciated.Tosingleoutyourreaderinaletter,youshouldwriteforhis/herparticularsituation.Whatyousaythroughoutthelettershouldmakeitclearthatthereaderisgettingindividualtreatment.Considerthefollowingsituation:panytrainingdirectoriswritingtothedirectorofamanagement-trainingprogramaskingforadditionalinformationontheprogram.Theindividualizedclosingshouldbesomethinglike“Welookforwardtothepossibilityofsendingourexecutivestoyouintheyearsahead.”Itismuchbetterthan“Welookforwardtohearingfromyou”,whichmayfitanysimilarcase. Usingthereader’sname Asyouhaveprobablynoticedinsomeletters,usingthereader’snameintheletterisanotherwaytoshowthatthereaderisbeinggivenspecialtreatment.Itmakesthereaderfeelthathis/heridentityasanindividualisrecognized.Thataletterbeginswiththecustomer’snamemakeshim/herfeelimportant.Useitonceortwiceintheletter,butnotsooftenastosoundlikeawardpoliticianoutforvotes10. Buildinggoodwill Onesurewaytobuildgoodwillistodoalittlemorethanyouhavetodoforyourreader.Weareallawareofhowhelpfullittleextraactsareinourpersonalrelationships.Thesameistruewithbusinesswriting.Inarefusalletter,itwillmakethereaderfeelmuchfortableifyouexplainandjustifyyourrefusal.Perhapssuggestingalternativestepsthatthereadermighttakehelpsalotinmaintainingagoodrelationship. Avoidinganger Rarelyisangerjustifiedinletters.Itdestroysgoodwill.mentsmadeinangerdonotprovideneededinformation,butmerelyservetoletthe 10tosoundlikeawardpoliticianoutforvotes:听上去像四处拉选票的选区的政客那样。
这里暗含的意思是政客拉选票时对选民过于殷勤，在信中称呼读者的名字可以拉近和读者的距离，增进感情，但是不能过分使用这种技巧。
Chapter111 1-2单元.indd11 2013-9-1817:14:48 商务英语写作12 writerblowoffsteam11.mentstakemanyforms—sarcasm,insults,exclamations,etc. Theeffectofangrywordsistomakethereaderangry.Withboththewriterandthereaderangry,thetwoarenotlikelytogettogetheronwhatevertheletterisabout.Asaresult,youcanneithergetthebusinessdone,normaintaingoodrelationships.Atactfulwriterreferscourteouslytothesubjectmattertoavoidjeopardizing(危及)goodwill.But,whenpleasantpositivewordshavenotbroughtdesiredresults,negativewordsmaybejustified. ApproachestoOrganizingBusinessWriting Youcantakeeitheradeductiveapproach12oraninductiveapproach13anizebusinessmessagesdependingonyourpredictionofthereceiver’sreactiontoyourmainidea.However,learninganizebusinessmessagesordingtotheapproachesthatareoutlinedbelowwillimproveyourchancesofwritingadocumentthatelicits(引起)theresponseoractionyoudesire. Directnessingoodnewsandroutinemessages Goodnewsorroutinemessagesfollowadirectorder—themessagebeginswiththemainidea.Topresentgoodnewsorroutinemessagesdeductively,beginwiththemajoridea,followedbysupportingdetails,andendwithgoodwill. Routineinquiriesandreplies,favorableresponsestoclaimsandadjustmenttorequests,mendationletters,goodnewsaboutemployment,congratulations,messagesofappreciation,condolences,announcementsandgreetingsfallintothiscategory. Indirectnessinbadnewsmessages Whenthemainmessageofaletterisbadnews,youshouldusuallywriteinanindirectorder.Theindirectorderisespeciallyeffectivewhenyoumustsay“no” 11blowoffsteam:发泄怒火12deductiveapproach:演绎法，即从一般到具体的写作方法。
13inductiveapproach:归纳法，即从具体到一般的写作方法。
1-2单元.indd12 2013-9-1817:14:48 toarequestorwhenyoumustconveydisappointingnews.Themainreasonforthisapproachisthatnegativemessagesarereceivedmorepositivelywhenanexplanationprecedesthem.Infact,anexplanationmayevenconvincethereaderthatthewriter’spositioniscorrect.Inaddition,anexplanationcushions(缓和，减轻)theshockofbadnews. Anindirectorderconsistsoffourparts:1)abuffer14,2)thereasonssupportingthenegativedecision,3)aclear,diplomaticstatementofthenegativedecisionand4)ahelpful,friendlyandpositiveclose. Badnewsmessagesinbusinessinclude:badnewsaboutorderssuchasbackorders15;negativeanswerssuchasdeclininginvitationsandrequestsforfavors,andrejectingjobapplications;andconveyingunfavorablenewssuchasrefusingtowritemendationletters,terminatingemployment,etc. Indirectnessinpersuasion Persuasionisanartofinfluencingotherstoeptyourpointofview.Inallupationsandprofessions,richrewardsawaitthosewhocanusewellinformedandwell-preparedpresentationstopersuadeotherstoepttheirideasorbuytheirproductsorservices.Bypersuasion,wemeanreasoningwiththereader—presentingfactswithlogicthatsupportthecase.Persuasivemessagesaimtoinfluencereaderswhoareinclinedtoresist.Toeed,therefore,youhavetoconvincethemandyoushouldgenerallyfollowtheindirectorder.Openwithwordsthatsetupthestrategy—needsandappeals,emotion,logicandcredibilityshouldallbetakenintoconsideration.Thenpresentthestrategy(thepersuasion),usingpersuasivelanguageandyou-viewpoint.Endtheletterbydescribingpreciselywhatyouwouldliketodoorhavethereaderdo,restatinghowthereaderwillbenefitbyactingasyouwish.Commontypesofpersuasivemessagesaresalesletters,claimlettersandlettersthatrequestspecialfavororinformation. Questions
1. Whatarethefunctionsofbusinesswriting?
14buffer:缓冲物。
这里指的是，在信函中如果讲的是不好的消息，开头最好采用一些技巧做铺垫，这样可以使读者对坏消息不会感到太突然，更易于接受。
15backorder:延期交货 Chapter113 1-2单元.indd13 2013-9-1817:14:48 商务英语写作14
2. WhatarethesixC’sprinciplesdevelopedbyAmericanmunicationexperts?

3. Whatistheessenceoftheyou-viewpoint?

4. Whatarethetechniquesthathelpbuildgoodwill?

5. Whatismeantbythedirectorderandunderwhatcircumstancesshouldwe useadirectorder?

6. Whatismeantbytheindirectorderandunderwhatcircumstancesshouldwe useanindirectorder?
SampleContrast
1 PoorDearSirs:Wewishtoacknowledgereceiptof16yourcreditapplicationdatedFebruary17givingtradeandbankreferences,andwethankyouforthesame.Pleasebeadvised17thatcreditmodationsareherewithextendedasperyourrequest18andyourorderhasbeenshipped. Hopingyouwillgiveustheopportunityofservingyouagaininthenearfuture,weremain19. Yoursfaithfully, LilyWang DearSirs: Improved Thankyouforsendingsopromptlythetradeandbankreferenceswehaveaskedfor.Iamgladtosaythatyourorderhasalreadybeenshippedonthetermsyourequested. 16acknowledgereceiptof:兹收到，此种表达以及注17、18中所提到的属于古板的旧式表达。
17pleasebeadvised:在此通知18asperyourrequest:按你的要求19Hopingyouwillgiveus…,weremain:这是过去商务信函中常用的一种结束语。
其正 确的语法结构应是Weremainhoping…。
1-2单元.indd14 2013-9-1817:14:48 Wehopeyouwillgiveusthechancetoserveyouagain.Yourfaithfully,LilyWang 分析：这组信件中的第一封信语气显得生硬，使用的语言有些老套，读起来难懂，而且缺少亲切感。
第二封信比较口语化，简洁易懂，更有效地传达了信息。

2 PoorWehavereceivedyourrequestforpermissiontouseputersduringthenextsessionofsummerschool.Wearepleasedtoinformyouthatyoumayuseall15oftheputersyourequested.CaneinandfilloutthenecessarypaperworkanytimebeforeApril1?
ImprovedGoodnews,Jessica!
Allthe15putersyourequestedwillbeavailableduringthenextsessionofsummerschool.ebytheofficebeforeApril1tofilloutthenecessaryforms. 分析：这组信件是写给同一请求的两封回信，两封信内容相同，但是写作风格截然不同。
前者采用的是以“我”为中心的写作风格，后者采用的是以对方为中心的写作风格，前者给读者的感受显然不如后者亲切。
Exercises IRewritethefollowingsentencessothattheyarepositiveratherthannegativeintone.1. Unfortunately,yourordercannotbesentuntilnextweek.2. Toavoidthelossofyourcreditrating,pleaseremit(汇寄)paymentwithin10days.3. YourmisunderstandingofourJanuary8lettercausedyoutomakethismistake.4. YoucannotvisittheplantexceptonSaturday.5. Ourmaterialwon’tdothejobunlessitisreinforced. Chapter115 1-2单元.indd15 2013-9-1817:14:48 商务英语写作16
6. Yournegligenceinthismattercausedthedamagetotheequipment.7. Weregrettoinformyouthatwecannotpermityoutouseourclubhouse foryourmeetingonSaturday,astheBoysCorpaskedforitfirst.Wecan,however,letyouuseourconferenceroom,butitseatsonly60.8. Weregrettoinformyouthatwemustdenyyourrequestforcredit. IIRewritethefollowingsentencesfromtheyou-viewpoint.  
1. WewillbepleasedtodeliveryourorderbyMay16. 
2. Wehaveworkedfor20yearstodevelopthebestmodelcarforour customers. 
3. IampleasedtoinformyouthatIcangrantyourrequestforpaymentof travelexpenses. 
4. Wearehappytoreportapprovalofyourapplicationformembership. 
5. Wecanpermityoutoattendclassespanytimeonlywhenthe courseisrelatedtoyourworkassignment. 
6. WehavereceivedyourletterofMay16. 
7. Wehavebeenquitetolerantofyourpast-dueountandmustnow demandpayment. 
8. WehaveshippedtheDovedesksetyouorderedonMay3. 
9. Ourrichexperienceinthepublishingbusinesshasenabledustoprovide thebestservicepossible.10. Wecansellatdiscountprices,butwecannotpermitreturnsof merchandise. IIIUseconcretewordstoreplacetheitalicizedonesinthefollowingsentences.  
1. Wehavefoundthatyoungmenarebestforthiswork. 
2. Shemakesgoodgrade. 
3. JohnlostafortuneinLasVegas. 
4. Ifwedon’treceivethegoodssoon,wewillcanceltheorder. 
5. Lastyear’sprofitwassubstantial. 
6. Someyearsagoshemadegoodmoney. 
7. Hisgradeontheaptitudetestwasveryhigh. 
8. Hereisaproductwithverylittlemark-up. 
9. Damagefromthefirewassignificant.10. Wewillneedsomenewequipmentsoon. 1-2单元.indd16 2013-9-1817:14:49 IVRewritethefollowingsentencessothattheyaremoreconciseinwording.  
1. Inviewofthefactthatwefinancedtheexperiment,wewereentitledtosomeprofit.  
2. Wewilldeliverthegoodsinthenearfuture. 
3. Mr.Wattsoutlinedhisdevelopmentplansontheasionofhis eptanceofthepresidency. 
4. Iwilltalktohimwithregardtothenewpolicy. 
5. Thecandidateswhohadthemostmoneywon. 
6. Youshouldstudyallnewinnovationsinyourfield. 
7. Inordancewiththeplan,panysoldallthemachines. 
8. Lossescausedbythestrikeexceedtheamountof$450,000. 
9. Mr.Wilsonreplacedtheoldantiquatedmachinerywiththenew machinery.10. Therearemanyobligationsthatwemustmeet. VRewritethefollowingsentencesinconversationalstyle.
1. IherebyacknowledgereceiptofyourJuly7letter.2. Anticipatingyourreplybyreturnmail,Iremain.3. WetakepleasureinadvisingthatContractNo.2017isherebycanceled.4. Ishallappreciatethepleasureofyourreply.5. Thisistoadvisethathenceforthallinvoiceswillbesubmittedinduplicate.6. Youareherebyadvisedtoendorsetheproposalandreturnsametothe undersigned(署名人).7. InreplyingtoyouresteemedfavorofJuly7,Isubmitunderseparatecover thereportyourequested.8. ReplyingtoyourletterofAugust3wewouldstatethatwedeemitagreat pleasuretoeptyourkindoffertoserveonmittee. VIDecidewhetherthedirectorindirectorderispreferableineachofthefollowingsituations,andgivebriefreasons.
1. Aletterturningdownajobapplicant2. Aletterfromarecentcollegegraduaterequestingaletterof mendationfromaformerinstructor3. Aletteraskingwhenthenextyear’sautomobileshowwillbeheldinthe localplace Chapter117 1-2单元.indd17 2013-9-1817:14:49 商务英语写作18
4. Alettertodeclineanofferofproducts5. Alettertosellanewproduct VIIThefollowingaretwopairsofbusinessletters.Compareandtellwhichoneisbetterandwhy.Letter1-a DearMr.Hua:WeareinreceiptofandwouldliketothankyouforyourletterandcatalogofJune14,2013.Aftercloseexaminationweetotheconclusionthatyourproductsareofnointeresttous,butwewishyoueveryessinyourfuturebusiness.Sincerelyyours,Linda Letter1-b DearMr.Hua:ThankyouforyourletterandcatalogsentonJune14,2013.Weappreciateyourinterestinpanythoughyourproductsfalloutofourlineforthetimebeing.Wewishyoueveryessinyourfuturebusiness.Sincerelyyours,Linda Letter2-a DearMr.Black:WearesorrytohaveplaintaboutthepoorperformanceofourMonaybatteries.Youclaimedyourflashlightwasdamaged.Underseparatecoverwearesendingyouanewflashlightwhichwehopeisnotinferiortotheoneyousubmittedtousunderourguarantee.Monaybatteriesareincluded.Theyweretestedbeforehandforanyobviousdefects. 1-2单元.indd18 2013-9-1817:14:49 Lessthan0.5%ofourtotalproductionisunsatisfactory,andweareusuallyinclinedtofeelthattheuseroftheflashlightisatfault,notthebatteries.Sinceitispossibleforsomedefectivebatteriestoslipbyourrigidinspectionprocess,wefollowthepracticeofreplacinganydamagedflashlightsthatarecalledtoourattention.Itisunfortunatethatyouhavehadthisinconvenience.Wetrustyouwillexperiencenofurtherdifficultieswithourproduct.Verytrulyyours,JamesZhaoSalesManager Letter2-b DearMr.Black:YourrecentexperiencewithasetofMonayflashlightbatteriesisgivenproperattention.Underseparatecoverpleasefindanewflashlightparablevaluewiththeoneyousubmittedtousunderourguarantee.FreshMonaybatteriesareincluded.Formorethan99.5%ofourentireMonaybatteryproductionissatisfactory.Itwouldbeniceifthisrecordwas100%,butintheabsenceofaperfectrecord,wedoappreciateitwhenacustomerbringsanunsatisfactoryexperiencetoourattention.WearesurethatthefreshMonaybatterieswearesendingyouwillgiveyouthesamedependableservicethathasmadeMonaybatteriessofamousallovertheworld.Verytrulyyours,JamesZhaoSalesManager Chapter1 1-2单元.indd19 19 2013-9-1817:14:49 商务英语写作 VIIIEachpairofthefollowingstatementsexpressesthesameidea.ordingtothecriteriaforeffectivebusinesswritingdiscussedinthischapter,whichonedoyouthinkismoreappropriate?

1. Remindsomebodytosubmithis/herreport. a.Don’tettosubmityourtimeandexpensereportbynoonFriday.b.RemembertosubmityourtimeandexpensereportbynoonFriday.
2. Themessageisgiventoseveralbranchesofpany. a.Whenyourauditorarrivesattheheadoffice,heistogototheboardroom. b.Uponarrivalattheheadoffice,yourauditoristogototheboardroom.
3. Informtheresignationofaformerpresident. a.Kyle,the55-yearPresidentofGarvy-WheatonBank,hasresignedtoeptapositionwithpany. b.Kyle,thePresidentofGarvy-WheatonBank,hasresignedtoeptapositionwithpany.
4. Announcepany’spolicy. a.Blindemployeeswillpanymemorandumsbyvoicemail. b.Employeeswithvisionimpairmentwillpanymemorandumsbyvoicemail.
5. Replytoaletterwhichdidn’tprovidethespecificationsofsomegoodsordered. a.PleasesendpletespecificationsforPartNo.324-9,sowepleteyourorderquickly. b.YouneglectedtoindicatethespecificationsforPartNo.324-9inyourorder.
6. Requestabusinesspartnertoeffectpayment. a.WouldyoupleasepaythisamountassoonasyoucanatBankofChina,Liaoning?
b.Weaskyoutopaythebilledamounttousassoonaspossible. 20 1-2单元.indd20 2013-9-1817:14:49
7. Refertomistakesinaproposal. a.Thebidproposalwasnotproofreadcarefully.b.Armandofailedtoproofreadthisbidproposalcarefully.
8. Refertothepleted. a.Thejobpletedaheadoftime.b.pletedthejobaheadoftime. Chapter1 1-2单元.indd21 21 2013-9-1817:14:49